First off, let me start by saying forget everything you’ve heard about being too old. Or, even worse, that you are putting your child at risk by trying to conceive over 35. I am sorry, but that is all the outdated information that is no longer accurate. Today it is not so much about your age but the health of your body. Truth is, a 40-year-old could be in better health than a 25-year-old. With that said, I hope this post will ease your worry about having a baby over 35. Trust me, you are entering a large group of women who are strong, healthy, and established and having beautiful, thriving babies.
While there are many reasons why one might wait until their mid to late 30s to start trying to have a baby it’s important to remember this isn’t a race. More women are focusing on their careers and establishing themselves before having a baby. After all, who doesn’t want to be financially stable so you can give your child all they need? For me, this was a huge factor why I waited, as well as wanting to be married, for me that was important for myself and my religion. Whatever your reasons may be, or how life has taken you, it is all okay. Stop trying to live up to the timeline you’ve created for yourself and let life play out the way it is supposed to. Everything happens when it is supposed to, and even though that is hard to understand when you want things now, it will all work out the way it is meant to.
Women are taught that once they hit 30 their clock starts ticking and their time to have a child is quickly running out. This can cause stress and panic, and one true thing is that if you are stressed, you will not get pregnant. However, there is something that some people (and doctors won’t tell you) don’t know. The cut off for a woman being 35 has come from studies from the 1700s in France, that is over 300 years ago! We are putting unnecessary stress on women in their 30s to have babies based on fertility records from the 1700s? Why is anyone listening to 300-year-old medical records for anything? We have advanced so much over the past 300 years it makes absolutely no sense. People are living longer, eating healthier, working out, etc. 300 years ago you were lucky to make it to the age of 25, which then considered over the hill! Truth is, there is no difference between a woman getting pregnant at 35 or a woman at 38.
Having a child over 35, which I did myself, twice, there are some things to consider. One, be honest with yourself and assess your health. This means going in for a preconception visit to your trusted OBGYN, do not leave this to chance. When it comes to your health do not assume everything is fine. If you are over 35 and have been trying for 6 months without getting pregnant you need to request a referral to a fertility specialist. You want to know what you are working with so if there are measures to take you are fully aware and can take the necessary steps. Sometimes it is something very simple, other times it could be something serious that needs to be addressed. Knowing is half the battle, after all, how sad would it be if you never went in and it was something as simple as adjusting your hormones or changing your diet?
While I do realize that not everyone is going to hear good news, it is about knowing your situation and not leaving it to chance. If you need to do IVF it’s better to know early on and get started on it rather than thinking everything is fine and just continuing to try with failed results. Being 35+ also means you should be mature enough to know that you are the one in control of your health and you either take the necessary steps, or you don’t. Don’t be afraid to find out, and remember, you are in control. Good Luck and Happy Baby Making! <3
